Delicious Ramen
by TheGoldenAss
Summary: Naruto likes Ramen. A lot. I wonder if he dreams about it. I feel warm.


**Forward**: I really like food. I also really like Naruto. It's a good story (all though lately it's been pushing it with it's series of ultimate solution plot devices). Naruto Uzumaki, however, really likes food. He really likes ramen. Sometimes I think he dreams about making love to ramen. I don't know if that's true though, I just think about it. To Naruto, eating ramen is much like an addiction. You might think that can only exist with drugs and alchohol, but addiction is anything that you cannot control yourself from doing. Addiction is also something that is very hard to get over by yourself. Most people don't get over it, and just keep on doing their addiciton, whatever it is. Sometimes it's because they can't help, in which their friends can always help bring them back. Other times it's because they don't want to stop, and they just really really like to do it. In this case, it's not an addiction, and it's fine by me. It just means they've found the way they enjoy to live the rest of their life, or the way they intend to die by. If they enjoy it, and they don't care who knows it, then they won't stop. That's called an "if then" statement. I just won't hang out with them if it becomes my problem. Ok, bye!

**Delicious Ramen.**

"Naruto! Would you stop eating all that damn ramen?"

"Camf kalk. Ramef. Delefshuff."

Sakura pouted and turned back to the peaceful and newly reforming Hidden Leaf Village. Villagers were now working hand in hand to put back together their houses, communities, and their friendships. It would take time for these bonds to fully reform, however. Years of fighting had gone by, and now as a consequence years of reconstruction stood in the way.

_However_, thought Sakura,_ the problems would be much worse if Naruto hadn't shown up in time to defeat pain._ She turned to her orange induced friend, now chowing down on a mega sized bowl of Ramen, his favorite food.

A few days ago, Naruto had successfully defeated Pain's attack on Konoha Village, and then Pain himself, along with the rest of Akatsuki, and after that he went on to find Sasuke and defeated his evil comrades, and somehow convinced his old friend to return to the village, after which he went on to become the Hokage, then a master of all jutsus, and then…I don't know…found the answer to end all fighting in the Ninja world and bring about peace, sure, why not?

However, despite Naruto's new responsibility to his village, he was still just as good at shirking off those responsibilities as ever. In fact, just a few moments ago, Naruto had run into Sakura's newly appointed office as head of the medical agency and shouted, "Hey Sakura! Konoha's Ramen shop just reopened! Let's go celebrate by eating there!"

"Don't you have work to do?" Sakura protested.

"Work can wait! My hunger for Ramen is way more important! Do you have any idea how long it's been since I had Ramen?"

"A minute."

"Why did you have to go and pick a higher number? Anyway, restaurant Ramen is way better than any instant crap! Come on, last one to the shop pays!"

"What...I…we're not…Naruto! I am not going to try and beat you to the Ramen shop!"

"Then enjoy paying!" Naruto said before zooming off.

Now Sakura sat on a rough wooden stool, pissed out of her mind, while Naruto ignored her and stuffed his face full of so called "better than instant" ramen. She sighed, but couldn't help letting out a smile. Naruto was the hero whose name rang everywhere now days. _He really should be doing his work._ _But despite all that Naruto is still a human being, and he deserves a brake just as much as anyone else,_ thought Sakura.

Still, she was very disturbed by Naruto's over indulgence in the bowl of Ramen. This was not the only thing that disturbed her either.

"Naruto?" she began.

"Mmph."

"Doesn't it strike you as odd that our entire village is still under construction, and yet this Ramen Shop is standing here completely finished?"

"No."

"Well it odd to me. I don't remember anyone signing any papers about it. I don't even remember hearing about it until just now. It's like it popped out of thin air."

Naruto kept shoveling Ramen into his mouth. Sakura peered in past the counter. "I didn't even see a manager or anyone working the counter when we got here. That bowl of Ramen was just sitting here when we arrived. You probably shouldn't eat that by the way."

But Naruto just kept right on eating. _Is he even listening to me?_ thought Sakura. She studied Naruto's face, but it was so deeply hidden in the bowl of Ramen that she could hardly see his ears. Suddenly Naruto resurfaced for air, and began eating at a distance. Sakura pulled back in repulse. Naruto's gaping hole of a mouth was bringing in more and more spoonfuls of mushy ramen, flexing in and out, in and out, as if he were inhaling the stuff. The gagging noises he made suggested this might be true. His face had greased over with the wet fumes rising out of the bowl, and was turning red, while pieces of half eaten noodles and slobber covered his chin and hung from his greasy lips. And, worst of all, the noodles that kept going into his mouth slopped together with other unfinished remnants stuck in Naruto's teeth and gums, which Sakura was sorry to say she saw.

Naruto then dipped his face back into the bowl, this time splashing soup out of the bowl.

"Hey! Watch it!" Sakura said.

But her request went unheard. Naruto was now slobbering into his bowl, smooshing the now gook all over himself. The mashing and spitting noises were some of the grossest Sakura had ever heard, and she was carefully looking around to make sure that no one else was watching. Naruto just kept vacuuming up all of the messy noodles, eating them with unnecessarily loud chewing. At this point he had sacrificed breathing for snarling to maintain his composure while he gobbled up more and more of the mush.

"Ok," said Sakura, now thoroughly disgusted, "I think that's enough Ramen for you."

"No" said Naruto, shielding the bowl of Ramen with his arms.

"No seriously, it's getting disgusting, you need to stop."

Sakura then reached for the bowl, and Naruto promptly shoved her off her stole. She fell with a thud while Naruto continued to slobber all over the bowl.

"Ow! What the fuck is wrong with you Naruto!"

He just kept eating.

"Stop eating the fucking ramen!" Sakura bellowed as best she could.

Naruto suddenly stopped devouring his food long enough to turn to Sakura and shout "NO!"

In the quick glimpse she caught of Naruto's eyes, she saw that his irises had lost all color besides white, and no emotion other than the temptation of food now existed in them.

As quick as she had caught the glimpse, Naruto had turned back to his bowl.

"Oh my god Naruto, what's happening to you?"

---

A few minutes had gone by, and now Sasuke, Sakura, Kiba, and Shikamaru, at a safe zone of ten feet, watched as Naruto continued dipping his face in and out of the ramen bowl, each time coming back out with a mouthful of mushy ramen to swallow.

Shikamaru cocked his head. "So he's been at this for about fifteen minutes now?" he asked.

"There about. I tried getting him to stop but he freaked out on me and pushed me off my seat! I don't know what to make of it, it's like he's turning into a pig!" Sakura told them all.

"When wasn't he a pig?" Sasuke asked.

"Sasuke! Come on, something is seriously wrong with him!" Sakura looked back to Naruto, who had traded the bobbing for ramen method to the slurping method. She stuck out her tongue in disgust, as the quantity of ramen Naruto could take in seemed infinite. The idea made her sick to the stomach.

"The only serious thing I see is a serious case of the munchies." Kiba remarked.

Sasuke walked up behind Naruto, planning to swipe the bowl out from underneath his fattening face. However, when Sasuke got right behind Naruto, he was suddenly flabbergasted by what he heard. Naruto's whole body stopped moving, and he began to growl, like a dog might when you get too close to its food. Naruto had literally begun to revert into an animal.

The friends behind Sasuke had heard the noise too, and now they were starting to get scared.

"Naruto," Sakura began, "please, you need to set the bowl of ramen aside and step away from the counter. For goodness sake Naruto, you're acting like a pig!"

"Sakura! Shh!" Sasuke whispered. He was attempting to inspect Naruto's body for any sign of seal or inscription that might explain why Naruto was acting so ludicrous. However his body revealed nothing. Sasuke did not know what to make of the situation, and he was even more terrified that his precious sharingan couldn't help him out.

As the group remained silent, Naruto eventually returned to swallowing up the half eaten ramen in his mouth. Slowly Sasuke inched his hand over top of Naruto's body and reached for the bowl.

Naruto's face suddenly burst from the murky depths of the bowl and bit Sasuke's hand, breaking skin with his teeth. Sasuke screamed in agony and attempted to pull his hand a way. However, Naruto would not let go of Sasuke's hand, nor his appetite, and proceeded to keep eating the ramen with the hand in his mouth.

Sasuke felt teeth and tongue work together to smash the ramen up, and saliva drooled over his knuckles in order to reach and break down the smaller fragments of noodles. It was an awful, sickly, rubbing sensation, one that Sasuke would forever chart as the worst feeling of his life. He felt near puking.

"Let the fuck go of me Naruto!" screeched Sasuke, who proceeded to throw his free hand at Naruto's back. When he did so, Naruto's body burst into smoke and reappeared on the other side of the counter. Sasuke, dumbfounded, quickly backed away from the counter and back to the group.

"I don't know what the fuck has gotten into him, but something is seriously fucked up," Sasuke said, "He's not even registering we're here. He doesn't seem to notice anything outside of that bowl of ramen."

"This is very troublesome," said Shikamaru.

"Yeah, I figured." Sakura retorted.

"Ok you guys, chill. It's been a hell of week around here," Kiba said, hoping to end the worry, "Maybe this is just Naruto's way of taking a break, and biting is just his way of saying he wants to be alone. When Akamaru isn't feeling up to doing anything, he usually gets testy like this."

"I'm sure your expertise on dogs is really handy here Kiba." Sakura said, her tolerance gone.

Sasuke grunted and said, "Well he sure as hell is acting like one."

"Akamaru doesn't even act this crazy though. It's like Naruto doesn't have any control over himself. He very well may not…"

The four friends watched in desperation as Naruto continued to gobble up every last morsel of ramen. His face was blankly starring into the bowl, and his irises were still white, like there was nothing in them.

After a few more minutes of watching the atrocity, the four walked away feeling helpless. In order to calm everyone's nerves, Kiba added in, "Just give him some time to himself. I'm sure he'll be back to normal soon enough."

---

Two weeks passed by, and Naruto had yet to remove himself from the bowl of ramen. Everyone in the village was severely terrified now. Each day the Hokage grew more monstrous in size and more animalistic in nature. Two days after he had started eating, his clothes began to expand. After five days, his jacket and shirt ripped off, revealing a pudgy pair of breasts and sumo sized gut. His arms had literally become just flab, and it was surprise that his bones were able to still move his arms. Ramen still flowed into Naruto's mouth.

Many people had attempted stopping Naruto from eating: a few villagers, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Sasuke again. All of them returned with bruises and cuts on their bodies, and still Naruto kept eating the ramen. Sasuke had returned with a terrifying story, in which he described punching Naruto's body, and instead of inflicting damage, his arm sank into the fleshy mold and stayed put. He had felt something wiggle around his arm, and his body was suddenly thrown across the street and smashed into a pile of construction. The most terrifying event in this story, besides Sasuke sinking his arm into Naruto's fat, was the suggestion that Naruto no longer had to defend himself…

…the fat would do it for him.

A weird anomaly about this whole situation was the fact that Naruto was only eating from one bowl of ramen. As much as he continued to eat, the ramen did not seem to get any less. No one knew what to make of this, and all it could really tell anyone was that something was horribly wrong, fucked up if you will.

The other anomaly was that as days passed on with no change in Naruto's pace, the skies grew thicker with thunderstorms.

Finally, at the end of two weeks a child, who had accidentally thrown his ball into Naruto's stomach, ended up in the hospital without an arm. Apparently after attempting get the ball out, his arm was suddenly sucked in, and he began to scream. His friends pulled him out, but unfortunately all he returned with was a bloody stump.

Sakura had decided enough was enough, and that Naruto had to be dealt. In the past few days she had begun to collapse from mental instability. _What has become of Naruto? Where is my childhood friend?_ She would think to herself.

First Sakura went to Shikamaru and asked him to come with her, as she could not intervene her friend without another friend for support. Then she went to ask Hinata if she would come, since the shy girl had recently admitted her feelings for the Hokage, and might have some influence over him. Together the three headed in Naruto's direction. However, as soon as they turned the corner to where Naruto's body was, they immediately wished they hadn't.

There Naruto was, so large now that his body had filled the entire ramen shop, and his cellulite was filtering out through the cracks in the walls. The restaurant had begun to bend outward. Splinters of wood stuck in Naruto's body, but the fat was so thick now that the nervous system had become unreachable. Naruto looked no different from a giant bulging block of lard at this point.

Yet he still continued to devour the ramen. Sakura felt like throwing up.

People had gathered to watch as Sakura, Shikamaru, and Hinata walked up to Naruto. His face had now stretched to a length of two feet, and appeared to have molded into his shoulders. The only thing left of a face was Naruto's blank stare and white irises. Sakura found it difficult to look, and turned away.

She looked at Hinata and realized the fragile girl had begun to cry. Then Sakura looked around at the other villagers, and saw that they too had begun to cry. What had become of Konoha's Hokage had removed a lot of faith from the village, and Sakura had spread a bad omen by refusing to look at Naruto herself. She gathered up the rest of her courage, and made the final stand to stop all this madness.

"Naruto," she began, "It's time to stop. Do you realize what you have done to the village?"

Naruto kept eating.

"You have ignored your duties, your people, and your home, all for a greedy pleasure. This has to stop, before you go too far."

Naruto kept eating.

"Look at what's become of you! This obsession has become your sickness! Please Naruto. Do you even remember me? Do you remember the times we fought together in battle to defend our home? Do you remember your past fighting side by side with Shikamaru and Hinata, the people whose lives you would defend to the ends of the earth? Do you remember all those who died for this village? Are you going to just let them die in vain? Please Naruto, if there is any decency left in you, please stop this madness!"

"Naruto I…" started Hinata.

"Forget it Hinata," came a dark voice from a top a building on the other side of the street. The three looked up behind them to see Sasuke's silhouette perched upon the rooftop.

"He's gone," Sasuke said, jumping down, "Our childhood friend from the past is gone. He's just a pile of incomprehensive blubber at this point."

Suddenly a low growl was emitted from Naruto. The group looked over at him, and Sakura saw that a bit of color had returned to Naruto's eyes. Suddenly a feeling of hope lifted her. Despite his rude behavior, Sasuke had actually stirred up some emotion in Naruto.

"Oh, did I get to you Naruto? Do you remember me you fat fuck?" Sasuke shouted, "'I'm that piece of shit you brought back from the depths of ignorance and greed'. Isn't that how you referred to me the very night you brought me back? Boy, were you right then. But now look at who's become the piece of shit, literally speaking."

Naruto suddenly lifted up his head, or what he could of it, and bellowed, "BRAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

The ramen shop exploded and sent debris into the screaming crowd of villagers, who ran to avoid the chaos.

"So you want to fight about it now eh? Then come at me! Or are you just too fat to do anything about it? Have you become that fucking pathetic? I bet you have. Your village can see it too. It doesn't need you anymore, so you might as well keep shoveling ramen into your fat ass, because that's all you're good for, making a profit out of the ramen industry."

"BRAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Naruto bellowed.

"If you disagree then come and fucking get me!" shouted Sasuke.

"Naruto please!" Hinata said, her knees shaking, but still going strong. Naruto, who had been growling up until now, suddenly switched his focus on Hinata, and Sakura saw his irises become the mellow shade of blue they had once been.

Hinata went on, "Please don't do this…I remember when you were still a cadet…and you had such dreams…like becoming Hokage…and people always told you that you would never succeed…but I believed in you, because I knew they were wrong. I knew you had a strength that nobody else could understand…that you would keep on trying no matter what obstacle came your way or whoever pushed you down…I always believed in you...like you believed in everyone else…"

Sakura heard a plip noise come from Naruto's face. Tears had begun to stream down his face and pool into his fat.

"…I always loved you for that…I will always love you for that…and I was right. You became Hokage. Your dream realized…but now…I don't know what's become of you…and I don't know what to do…I don't think I can still respect you now…"

Naruto's eyes widened and Sakura saw Hinata reflected in his thoughts. _We're getting through to him_, she thought, _we're actually getting through! That's it Hinata. He's going to stop!"_

"Please Naruto…I don't want you to become this to become you…I…"

Hinata had collapsed and was now covering her face, having exerted herself too much. _Good job Hinata!_ thought Sakura.

"You see what you're doing Naruto?" Shikamaru said next, "If you don't want this to become your true future, you should stop now."

Hinata continued weeping, her eyes covered so she wouldn't have to look at her old lost hero. Suddenly Naruto began to cry.

"Uuh…uuh…uuh…!" he wept, as his hands flailed about. Hinata looked up and saw the misery that had overcome Naruto. She found herself upset that she had made him so miserable, but happy that he was finally aware of the reality he had created.

Sakura smiled too, happy to see that Naruto was going to be ok.

However, as Naruto continued to cry, the fat around his body started bubbling. Sakura, as well as Sasuke and Shikamaru, couldn't help but eye the mysterious fat which was now protruding at very odd intervals.

Suddenly a mound of fat began to build up around Naruto's arms, and they began to expand away from Naruto, towards Hinata.

"What the hell is happening?" Shikamaru shouted.

"I have no clue!" Sakura shouted back. Then she looked into Naruto's face, and saw that nothing had been solved. Naruto's eyes were wide, but the irises had become white again. He once again was no longer human, but just the fat.

A blank face had overcome Hinata as the fat began to encircle her body.

"Hina…Hina...Hinaf…" Naruto stammered.

The fat that had been circling Hinata's body suddenly moved in a rapid pattern, and tightened around Hinata's body.

"HINAFA…HINAFAHINAFAHINAFAHINAFA!" Naruto bellowed through his fat.

Hinata screamed in fear as the fat continued to pull her closer to Naruto's body.

"That's enough!" Sasuke shouted, and he jumped up into Naruto's body, with a kick intended to rip right through the thick fat. Instead, his body sank halfway down into the fat. Sasuke attempted to pull himself out, but instead he sank at a steady pace into Naruto's body. He screamed in agony. Sakura could only imagine the horror that was happening on the other side of the epidermis.

"Sasuke!" Sakura shouted and threw ninja stars at Naruto. A whip of fat flew from behind Naruto's body and deflected all of the stars at once. Sasuke continued to sink, and Hinata continued to move closer and closer to Naruto's body.

Naruto suddenly shifted up. The fat reeling in Hinata pulled her forward with a thrust, and she slammed into a pudgy chest mound. It was sweaty and burning hot. The fat then wrapped around Hinata so that she could no longer dream of escape.

"HINAFAPUSSHINAFAPUSSHINAFAPUSSAAAAGH!" Naruto bellowed.

Hinata felt a stem of fat poke between her legs. It pushed her legs to the side and wiggled up them. Then her eyes glazed over when she realized the situation she was in.

It was not a stem of fat pushing up her legs.

Meanwhile, fat began to wrap itself over top of Sasuke's head, and despite his fighting back, he could not overpower the pressure of the weight consuming him. With one final tug, Sasuke was pulled deep into the mound of Naruto's body, never to be seen again.

"Sasuke! This has gone too far! I will not allow this to happen!" Shikamaru shouted, and he too jumped to attack Naruto. He flew up over Naruto, and dived face first straight down. "If we can't defeat you from the outside, I'd bet I can tear you apart from the inside!"

Naruto looked up, opened his mouth as wide as a trashcan, and with one swoop Shikamaru disappeared down Naruto's throat.

"Shikamaru! No!" Sakura screamed. She started to run to pull Shikamaru out, but her intentions were cut short when another whip of fat slammed her into a building across the street, in which she fainted in the wreckage.

"HINAFAPUSSHINAFAPUSS!" Naruto went on bellowing.

Hinata was terrified as she felt Naruto's manhood push further and further up her legs. Then, when it reached as high as it could, Hinata felt the sudden penetration…the sudden pain that stole her purity.

As she felt the boy's tool slink into her, she was overcome with emotions, and she screamed as loud as she could.

The scream pierced through the entire village of Konoha, and some say it reached ears of all the ninja in the world. All the ninja, that is, except for Naruto, who kept right on penetrating the poor girl.

Naruto thrust himself up and down into the poor girl's body, who now cried uncontrollably. Her body, mind, and soul burned with the fat that squeezed the existence out of her.

Naruto bent down and attempted to kiss the girl. Hinata refused to open her mouth, but this proved to no avail as Naruto's kiss more or less swallowed her whole head instead. Inside of Naruto's mouth, Hinata's head was covered by the large tongue and meshed up ramen. A spew of liquidized ramen flooded into her face, choking her airway. Hinata promptly threw up in disgust, and the vomit mixed in with the disgusting predigested bits of ramen. Naruto finally pulled back and left a trail of soup and spit all over his chin, chest, and Hinata's face. She had lost all sense of reality at this point, and was now starring as blankly as Naruto had been.

Then Naruto began to thrust. He shoved himself in and out of Hinata's body. Hinata grunted in pain with each thrust, no longer with the will to fight back. As Naruto pushed deeper into her, blood trickled out from under his pockets of fat.

With one final thrust, Naruto jammed his entire manhood into Hinata's body, causing her to cough up again in pure pain. Hinata then knew that the worst was about to come, that was Naruto was about to let loose into her body. She clenched her eyes in fear of it.

Finally it jettisoned out of Naruto, and into Hinata. However, it was not what Hinata knew it was supposed to be. It was lumpy, steaming, and slid too fast down her legs. Fear then over took her whole body, and she lost control of her muscles at the realization of what Naruto had just put in her...

…ramen.

After finishing his business, Naruto dropped Hinata's limp body to ground, no longer aware of her existence. The blank stare and the white irises once again took over his face, and he began to eat the ramen again.

---

Sakura awoke an hour later to find the mess left by Naruto. Hinata's body lay ragged to the side while he continued to devour the bowl of ramen. Quickly Sakura checked Hinata's pulse and discovered that she was still alive, but needed immediate emergency attention in order to repair the damage to her body. Sakura then noticed the ramen seeping out of Hinata's mouth and pants, and was compelled to vomit.

"My god" she asked, "What has happened?"

A medical team was called in and took Hinata from the site. She was taken to an emergency room at the Konoha hospital, where she received drugs and grief counseling to subside the physical pain. However, Hinata continued to blankly stare at people as if they were nothing but walls. A few days later, the doctor watching her stepped out for a moment to use the bathroom. When he returned, he had found that Hinata had hung herself.

A day after that, Naruto's pants ripped a hole in the back, and Shikamaru's body spilled out, covered in soup and ramen, dead.

Sakura, in a state of fear, ordered a group of ninja to seal off the area so that no one could ever join Naruto in his own personal hell. As appointed new Hokage, she made the decision to move Konoha far, far away from Naruto so that no one could ever be grieved with the knowledge of his existence. The entire village picked up and moved to the other side of the Fire Country, and the story of Naruto would in eventual years go down as a sad legend.

A legend that told of a misguided boy, who to this very day, sits under the darkest clouds in all of the Fire Country, in the area most vacant of life, eating nothing but ramen, growing fatter and fatter for eternity.


End file.
